The blind guy in the dark forest [ 10.02.06 - 9:05pm] So, on to my third entry: The blind guy in the dark forest! Although he probably doesn't care that it's dark, you know, because he's blind and all of that. Situation: A dark forest Main character: A guy called Tom the Blind Minor characters: Billy the Squirrel of doom Freddy "The Llama" Mercury George Bush Forest Gump 't Was quiet in the forest of doom. The birds were sitting merrily in their trees, minding their own shady business, when a lonely figure appeared on the horizon. A voice could be heard from far away, happily chanting: "Die, ye annoying twigs You make me fall It itches, it icks Yet I still Call For a God to save me and cure this blindness Yes, And I still see can't see the sea" And hark, there came the little elfs, the cute squirrels, the fierce gazelles, the proud elephants and many other kinds of wildlife, who came to look who was saying these beautiful words (they're actually terrible, but hey, when did you ever see an elephant at an opera?). Anyway, back to the antagonist. There he walked, proud and determined, while he was being stung by all possible stinging insects, and while he knocked his head against every branch he encountered. But that did not deter him from his God-given task. He was here to deliver a basket of mushrooms to his old friend, Freddy. The ragged figure walked further, his long hair waving in the winds, when all of a sudden he heard a noise. He looked up and saw an elephant reading a book in the tree straight above him. To say the least, he was surprised, not only because he saw a reading elephant, but also because he could actually see him, being blind and all of that. He cried out in terror: What are you doing here!?! To which the elephant cooley replied: I'm reading a book, you welsh tard. "I'm not welsh, I'm Irish!" "No you're not" "I'm Irish, and that's It!" "ok." "Anyway, Mr Elephant, what are you doing in a tree?" "Reading the lord of the rings, I have never read it before. Have you?" "Can't say I have, Forest." "Too bad, Literature is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" "Ok.", The Antagonist finished, and he moved on. But that was not the end yet, for out of the blue a squirrel appeared, with razor sharp fangs and the reputation of a ferocious nut biter. However, everyone knows that blind people have super reflexes so Tom hit Billy with his fist, which caused the squirrel to fly through the air and hit an adjacent tree with high speed. This was the end of the killing spree of Billy. (Fate 1 - Billy 0) But all of a sudden Tom saw the error of his ways and he quit his evil ways forever. Thus ends this story, and I'll also give you a morale to go with it. A. "Never ever ever become a drugs dealer when you're blind, it sucks" B. "Never ever listen to someone who tells you to make a story about a blind drugs-dealer in a forest, it's impossible" J'ai dit. comment | save | edit

And so it continues. [ 09.11.06 - 9:33pm] And so it continues. Yes. After seeing this in front of me for the last 3 minutes, I've got no idea how to continue. However, I could just talk nonsense, for nonsense is the key to everything in this world. I have spoken! Now, Let's truly continue. Yes. Hmmhmm. hokai. Let's talk about today. the eleventh of september. Yes, you might have already heard about it, but today is a somewhat important day in my life. For today 44 or somewhat years ago, my father was born. However, I will not continue about that. For I have decided that I'm gonna come up with my own conspiracy theory about 9/11/2001, or for the Europeans amongst us, 11/09/2001. 10/09/2001 - The White House. Washington - USA 10:43 It was a warm day, with birds flapping around cheerfully in the sky, and all kinds of jolly animals were rolling around on the lawn of the white house. "Mr President sir!" "Yes, Fargason?" We have received a report from our Danish spies, The Swedish Big Bird fanclub has prepared there attack!" "Good god, Allah be with us, what's the situation?" ""They have set up sentries all around the Kentucky fried chicken main warehouse, sir!" "Which one?" "The one in New York sir! We've also got unconfirmed sightings of men dressed in Big Bird suits in and around washington, but they've been deemed low risk for the time being." "Are we too late?" The president said, "Or do we still have time to prepare for this mischievous assault?" "The odds are we're not gonna make it, but I've already took the liberty to dispatch a squad of big game hunters, they should be arriving at the site soon." "Thank you Fargason, Remind me to raise your salary after all of this is over" 10/09/2001 - Kentucky Fried Chicken Main Warehouse - New York, USA 11:56 The day was still warm, however it had started to rain in New York. The few critters that were running around, minding their own business were mainly rats, cockroaches and other vermin, and a rare stray pigmy elephant. 't Was a good day, and it seemed like nothing could go wrong with the plans Nils Gustavsohn and Emil Valhattärégäbû had prepared. Oh, how wrong they were. "Emil, Emil! Report in!" the harsh voice of Nils sounded through the walkie talkie. "Da, Komrad Nils?" "Emil? What happened to you? You sound all russian!" "It iz so they shall not detekt ze me, Komrad Nils. Ze foul Americans are used to having ze russian spies around." A shrill laughter rang through the air, with a distinct russian accent. "Yes yes, whatever." Emil sighed, "What's the status?" "Ze Big Bird Has been Merciful, Emil, we have our target in our sight." "Jolly good chap! They will never suspect it was us!" Meanwhile, what they could not see was the ravaging band of English Big game hunters, riding in on their preys. "Sir Fargason, we have 2 men in Big Bird suits in our line of sight! Shall we engage?" "Cry 'Havoc', and let slip the dogs of war!" "Is that a yes sir?" "Do I have to spell it out for you, you stupid Englishman? OF COURSE THAT'S A YES!" "TALLLLLLLLLLLLY HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Meanwhile, back at the heroes of our story. "Emil, Did you just hear that? "What, Komrad Nils?" "Nothing, I thought I heard someone screaming." He looked behind the corner. What he could see could not have been described by epic poets such as Homer, Shakespear, or Homer Simpson, however, I will try to describe it to the best of my abilities. Behind the corner, there was an entiry hunting party in a variety of costumes, english fox hunters, Aboriginals, Neanderthals, and many, many more. In front of them was a variety of dogs, poodles, rotweilers, german shepherds, llamas and their kin. The noisy they made could be heard all the way in the Motherland, Because in soviet Russia, The government listens to YOU! Stunned by such a magnificent sight, Nils stood frozen to the ground. The last thing he saw before his inevitable doom was a man with a pipe in his mouth, readying his gun, aiming for the kill "Ha, Nu zal ik 'm hebben, die verdomde Niederlandische Pino!" This man was in fact the prince of holland, in his last hunting party he ever attented before he died of old age. 10/09/2001 - Kentucky Fried Chicken Main Warehouse - New York, USA 12:20 Crap. He has not expected to die this way. He ran like the wind as fast as his injured leg allowed him. he had been shot through it by a crazed aboriginal, the broken arrow shaft was still there, and he has been running away from the dogs for the last ten minutes. "Headquarters, this is Soldat Emil, I am being chased by the American security force, and it doesn't look like I'll survive this one." "What is your location, Emil?" "New Yor.............. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHRGG! NO! DON'T TOUCH THE HAIR! EVERYTHING BUT THE HAIR! AVENGE ME! AVENGE The..... avenge the.. hair... Ahhhhhrgg!" These were the last words of Soldat Emil, noble knight in the order of the Swedish Big Bird Fanclub. The time was 12:23, the moment that changed history forever. To be continued in Part 2, And so the continuation continues. Also known as... The eleventh of september, 2001. comment | save | edit

And so it begins. [ 09.07.06 - 8:16pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Demons & Wizards. ] How does one start a blog? That is the main question I'm asking myself at the moment. Some would say "Just start writing." Others would say "Don't do it lolzorz it's teh emo omg" However, here I am, actually writing a journal entry. What happened to the good old days when one wrote a journal on paper, all of your secrets locked behind a single lock, only accessible by opening it with the key you kept around your neck, hidden as jewelry? Alas, such days are long over. Nowadays one simply writes everything on teh IntrAw3bz, in public sight. But I'm getting distracted, let's go back to my journal. The title is, as you already might have read "And so it Begins." Now, you might ask yourself : "Dude, the beginning of what?" Now, please allow me to say that I have absolutely no idea. A friend of mine recommended this site, so who am I not to start my own little version of reality here? Of course, you all have been wondering who I might be. I will now attempt to tell you. Do not be scared. If you have no interest in knowing this, than quickly turn of your screen and start spamming Alt+F4. However, If you have alot of curiousity, go ahead and read on. No huge fists will come out of your screen to slam you in the face, I swear. (If they do come out however, don't blame me, bring it to the producer, I am not in any way responsible for any facial damage you may get from reading this) Ah well, let's get started. Screen Name: Sulimo_Valentin. (I'll get back on this terrible choice later) Real Name: Tijl Age in Hex: 10 Age in Decimal: 16 Age in Binary: 10000 Living place: The Netherlands Anything else you wish to know, feel free to ask. So, about my Name on livejournal. Sulimo_Valentin. I know, terrible choice. Now, let's all start laughing and point in my direction. Okay, done yet? Now, allow me to explain. My name in most online occasions is Sulimo. However, some butthead already took that name. No problem, I don't really care. But once they took some of my other names, I got quite pissed about it. It's evil. THE NAME IS MINE, YE FOUL HELLSPAWNS! Ahum, sorry about that. Now, the second part of my name. It is actually one of my "Official names, but than it's Russianized (That's not a word, but meh, who cares?) because the dutch version sounds even more retarded than the russian one. Now, You all know the meaning of my name. The end of the mystery. The end of everything. You can leave now, It's over. What, You're still here? Didn't I tell you to leave? Ah well, if you're still here, then who am I to get rid of you? Stay, I don't care. I won't even notice you were ever here. Funny notion, if you think about it. Imagine you reading it tomorrow, or in 3 years. That means I am communicating with the future. So hello, whoever reads it then. Undoubtedly you have seen more than I have at this moment. And with this, I end my first rant. I bid thee farewell, Noble viewers. May you not get run over by a horde of elephants. Ciao. 1 | comment | save | edit

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